In this week’s episode I talked through the different aspects of the enneagram and what specifically triggers anger in each enneagram point. The enneagram is important because when you understand what’s driving people’s behaviour, you become a more effective communicator. You speak in a way that’ll allow others to hear you. Even more importantly, you’re able to bridge conversations that would otherwise be deeply entrenched because you’ll understand the deeper motivation.
(Side note: This is really helpful information to have at hand if you’re trying to understand different people’s responses to a global pandemic!)
Here’s a quick summary of the different points:
- Ones get angry at people not doing their bit, people getting away with poor choices or being irresponsible (what it looks like; this is often expressed as criticism)
- Twos feel angry when they’re unappreciated by those you’re serving/taking care of (what it looks like; twos most commonly deny their own anger and turn it into martyrdom)
- Threes will often experience anger around inefficiency and lack of results. Also, when someone makes them look bad (what it looks like; frustration and irritation)
- Fours tap into their anger when they feel misunderstood, dismissed or criticised (what it looks like; fours are prone to quite dramatic expression of anger)
- Fives are enraged by lack of respect, people wasting their time or invading their space (what it looks like; snippiness, yelling, criticism, condescension)
- Sixes hate inconsiderate behaviour, bullying, demands on your time, people not taking personal responsibility (what it looks like; a biting response, or as spit and run – where they get out and out confrontational and then run away)
- Sevens resist being boxed in or limited in some way (what it looks like; they get angry and then move on quickly (more quickly than others), can also be assertive in their opinions, and/or are impulsive and say words they regret)
- Eights get angry when others have been unjustly treated, or when people won’t comply with their directions (what it looks like; they confront the situation and express their anger openly)
- Nines hate not feeling valued, being told what to do, or feeling nagged (what it looks like; they generally bottle up anger, can be passive aggressive, express quiet resentment, or get foggy and confused).
In this week’s video I invited you to simply recognise what resonates for you and recognise where it shows up in the body. We’ll work with that next week.
Interested in books about rage? We’ve a few favourites we recommend right here.
Want to access the rest of our series on Women and Rage? You’ll find that right here.
For more information on the enneagram, check out our series on your visibility personality here.