Driven by success

Hello again Enneagram Threes! Following on from our earlier post, let’s focus on a few aspects of your visibility journey and how the Enneagram influences it.

Let’s start with the obvious; your focus on success, image, and efficiency makes you the great achievers of the Enneagram. Driven to achieve your goals, you’re adaptable, energetic and able to present yourself positively to others.

Beneath all of that, however, there’s a struggle. A struggle that ties your feelings of self-worth to your achievements and a drive that keeps you hustling to avoid feeling failure.

Three industries and industries that appreciate Threes

Some of the industries where you particularly thrive include:

• corporate and business environments (where results, performance metrics, and promotions are key),

• entertainment and media (you shine as actors, producers and media personalities),

• competitive sports (where performance and achievement are highly valued),

• fashion and beauty (leveraging your skills in self-presentation),

• entrepreneurship (leaning into your ability to market yourself and your ideas),

• public relations (excelling in roles that require you to manage your public image and the image of others), and

• sales and marketing (where your capacity for goal-setting, communication, and image management makes you extremely effective).

Threes in storytelling

Stories crafted by, and about, Threes often serve to motivate and inspire others. Three characters are focused on achievement, ambition, and personal growth. Think Jay Gatsby from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Regina George from Mean Girls, Patrick Bateman from American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, Tahani Al-Jamil from The Good Place, Scarlett O'Hara from Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell, and Princess Tiana from The Princess and The Frog.

Literary genres that may appeal to Three readers include biographies and memoirs, personal development, productivity and motivational literature, and business and leadership.

 

Threes and social media

Threes are the ultimate influencers and so, do well on almost all social media platforms.

Any space that allows them to showcase their achievements and emphasise their personal branding will work well. When you build in the opportunity to create visual appeal and network professionally, voilà, a three is going to thrive.

So, unlike most Enneagram points, a Three can take their pick of social media platforms from LinkedIn to Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Threads, TikTok, Pinterest, or even Clubhouse. Threes, the social media world is your oyster!

Three visibility blocks 

Reading this, you might think that Threes don’t have visibility blocks. Not true. Many things can hinder a Three’s visibility efforts. Let’s explore a few of them.

Fear of failure

A Three’s fear of not meeting their own or others’ expectations can lead to anxiety about being visible. The fear of being perceived as a failure can manifest as procrastination, or hiding out and avoiding situations or opportunities where they’re worried about not excelling.

Alternatively, Threes can veer into fraudulence, creating entirely false narratives about themselves to sustain an image of success. Ever seen Inventing Anna on Netflix? It’s the true story of a con artist who posed as a wealthy New York socialite under the name Anna Delvey. Anna charmed her way into Manhattan’s elite circles, convincing friends, hotels, and even banks to fund her lavish lifestyle, all while claiming she was a German heiress. She was not.

 

Over-emphasis on image

Developing a very published public person can prevent Threes from being authentic and vulnerable. When you’re focused on presenting a particular image of success, you can feel reluctant to reveal anything about yourself that doesn’t align with the story you’re selling. This creates barriers to authenticity and causes relatability issues, making it harder for others to connect to you.

So, my Three friends, if your audience values authenticity, remember to show them something unvarnished from time to time. Remember that not everything has to look great in every moment. We don’t always need you to impress us.

Comparative thinking

Comparitonitis is one of the great bugbears of a Three. A Three is subconsciously placing everyone they know in a hierarchy with one another. The measurement they each use might be different, but inevitably they’re sizing people up, including themselves, to see where everyone sits on their success scale.

This creates a feeling that it’s ok to be seen when they’re succeeding but not when they’re not measuring up to their peers or competitors. In those instances, there can be a reluctance to step into the spotlight.

If you only show up when you’re feeling successful, your visibility efforts will inevitably be inconsistent. What’s critical here is to focus on breaking down any stories you’ve internalised about people only respecting or liking you when you’ve achieved something.

Overworking

Becoming so focused on achieving goals can lead to burnout. Oftentimes I’ve seen Threes push and push and push and then have to pull back entirely from their business because they have nothing left in the tank.

Overworking can also mean choosing not to stop and celebrate successes. Doing this can cause a Three to overlook the impact they’re having which limits their capacity to fully communicate their value (one of the three key elements of a visibility strategy).

 

To the rest of the Enneagram

There’ll be times when you wish the Threes in your life would either slow down or stop trying to impress you and others. In those moments, they probably need you to intervene, but are unlikely to appreciate your efforts.

Reminding them that you see them, that they’re worthy and that they’re loved just as they are, is a helpful start. Permission to rest is something else they need. One way to do this is to choose holiday destinations that don’t have internet connection. This is a lovely gift you can offer an Enneagram three. Similarly, suggesting activities that focus on personal expression rather than productivity, like art, creative writing, or spending time in nature can be helpful. Threes need the opportunity to reconnect with themselves and the world around them without artifice. The more you can offer them this, the more you’ll get to see their authentic selves.

Also, if you’re a business owner who has been trying to follow traditional marketing advice and it hasn’t been working for you, it’s helpful to remember that a whole lot of marketing advice has been developed by Enneagram Threes. Rather than trying to become a poor replica of an Enneagram Three, you’ll be better off finding your natural way of being visible. Our visibility course Your Visibility Personality can help you with that.

 

Your way of being visible should reflect you. Lean into your visibility style and get comfortable with showing up on your own terms.