I've got the power

Let’s start with my favourite Enneagram Eight song; I’ve Got The Power. 

(Here’s Snap’s YouTube account if you want to pop over and enjoy some of their tunes. Surely we have some fans of Rhythm is a Dancer in the room? Also, check out the shoulder pads in the video. 👇 Heady days indeed!)

If you’re going to reduce an Enneagram Eight down to one thing, it’s their capacity to wield power. Whether for good or evil, is up to the individual. Unfortunately, unhealthy Eights have managed to taint the Eight population with a reputation for being aggressive bullies.

Many Eights find this characterisation deeply unfair. I’ve been in more than one Enneagram workshop where an Eight has stood up and declared, in genuine distress to the room, ‘But I really am a good person’.

All Enneagram points can be expressed in healthy and unhealthy ways and rather than being an aggressive bully, what’s closer to the truth for many Eights is that they are direct, generally don’t back down from confrontation, and are comfortable expressing most emotions, including anger and frustration.

The rest of the Enneagram is neither so direct, nor so comfortable with confrontation though. So what looks like ‘Saying it as it is’ to an Eight, can feel like an all-out attack to many other Enneagram points. For this reason, they tend to spend a lot of time telling Eights not be so loud, so aggressive, and not to express their emotions so fully.

When Eights hear these messages regularly, particularly as children, they can respond by ‘hiding out’ in their Nine or Seven wings.

You know those very big men we call gentle giants? A great many of them are Eights leaning into their Nine wing so as to not scare people. Or those direct and confident women with a great groundswell of joy in their bellies? You’ll find that many are Eights leaning into their Seven to present as more friendly and less ‘aggressive’.

 

Kamala Harris presents a lot like an Eight with a Seven wing which is why she was able to confidently walk up and force the handshake at the Presidential debate. (If anyone knows how to handle an Eight, it’s another Eight. Which leads me to a tip for the rest of the Enneagram: the best way to manage an angry or dominating Eight is to get into full confrontational mode and meet them with the biggest energy you can muster. Trust me, an Eight will respect that much more than any attempt you make to appease them.)

Eights are at pains to hide their vulnerabilities in environments that feel unsafe, which means you can get a false sense of an Eight being stronger than they feel themselves to be. This leads to a fair chasm between how an Enneagram Eight perceives themself and the way the rest of the Enneagram does. Behaviour that an Eight perceives as protection is interpreted by others as aggression.

In a professional environment, Eights may avoid taking action that will make them look stupid or like you don’t know enough. At the most unhealthy end of this, an Eight will manipulate the truth in order to convince people that they are right. But even at the more healthy end of the spectrum, Eights don’t love being put in a place of weakness. Which means they can end up very stuck. Their enormous willpower can stop them from stepping out of their comfort zone to avoid exposing them to possible attack (the ‘attack’ being that people are disrespecting their authority).

Eights are very loyal. They hate betrayal and feel very wounded by it (their responses to betrayal range from self pity to raging anger, to punishing the betrayer). The Mafia has many characteristics of an Eight organisation and we all know how they deal with disloyalty! The Godfather movies, by the way, are excellent examples of movies that align with Eight characteristics. Other movies include Scarface, The Departed, and A Few Good Men - Jack Nicholson’s Colonel Jessup is one of my favourite, iconic Eight characters. Plus, the musical Chicago is filled with Enneagram Eight style enjoyment.

 

When I started my Enneagram journey I was sure I was an Eight. I was leaning heavily into my Eight at work and, for a variety of reasons, had dismissed the Seven out of hand. When I heard the Eight qualities, they were hard to ignore. I felt like I was being slapped in the face with many of my best and worst traits!

I remember calling my partner during a break and saying, ‘Um, so I’ve discovered that people really don’t like being told what to do.’

He chuckled and said, ‘Oh, you’ve just discovered this have you?’

Twenty years later I’m chuckling too, but at the time, here’s what telling people what to do felt like to me; it felt like me helping. It felt like me showing them I cared about them.

Eights have a deep desire to protect and advocate for others, especially the underdog. At the time, I was working in support of deeply disadvantaged people. I assumed that others could benefit from my strength and courage. I assumed that I was doing a good thing by taking charge and righting the wrongs of the world.

I was certainly operating from an Eight mindset of strength, protection, and action, assuming that others would appreciate my leadership.

But as I sat there listening to the description of the Eight, I realised I had made an assumption about others that was disempowering for them. In taking charge, I had been too protective, too willing to step in and solve other people’s problems. What I was actually doing was showing them that I didn’t think they were up to the task or at the very least, not giving them the space and time to find their own solutions.

As I worked on what I eventually came to see as my Eight wing, I became much more at ease with vulnerability. I stopped armouring myself. I came to appreciate the skills and wisdom of all Enneagram points and looked for ways to shine a light on them, rather than take over from them.

Eights in storytelling

Enneagram Eight characters appear in storytelling to push the plot forward with their force of will and determination. They are the leaders, protectors, and challengers. They aren’t afraid to confront obstacles head-on and embody themes of power, justice, and control. Eights can show up as heroes, antiheroes, or even villains, depending on how healthy or unhealthy they are.

Some classic Enneagram Eight characters include;

• Arya Stark from Game of Thrones who refuses to be controlled or oppressed. She’s fiercely independent and strong-willed, with a driving desire for justice. Her ally and eventual friend Sandor Clegane, also known as ‘The Hound’, is also a good example of an Eight.

• Daenerys Targaryen, also from Game of Thrones, is fascinating as she demonstrates both the healthy and unhealthy aspects of an Eight. Starting out as a liberator and a protector of the weak, as her power grows, she becomes more controlling and dictatorial, embodying some of the most dangerous aspects of the Eight.

• Finally, Erik Killmonger from Black Panther is an example of an Eight as an antihero. His motivations are rooted in a desire for justice and the liberation of oppressed people, but his methods are ruthless and destructive, exemplifying an Eight at their most unhealthy.

Literary genres that appeal to Eights include anything with a strong plot. Deeply introspective novels with beautiful writing are likely to annoy rather than appeal to an Eight. So think thrillers, crime novels, political espionage, legal dramas, epic fantasy, biographies of strong leaders, and historical and military fiction.

 

Social media platforms work for an Eight when they use it to lead conversations and make an impact. Think LinkedIn for its professional focus and emphasis on leadership, networking, and industry influence. Threads for the opportunity to voice their opinions, or Facebook to lead or participate in groups.

In my experience though, Eights generally function best in person. So while they can absolutely use social media, they should also remember their skill of being able to energetically capture a room when they walk into it (making speaking gigs a great visibility option for Enneagram Eights).

Industries that appreciate Eight qualities include:

• entrepreneurship (thanks to their natural leadership and willingness to take risks),

• law and advocacy (so they can fight for justice),

• politics and government (where they can comfortably command attention and make bold decisions),

• military and law enforcement (industries that love an Eight’s decisiveness, strength and leadership),

• executive leadership and management (utilising their strategic mindset, strong will, and capacity to make difficult decisions),

• crisis management and emergency services (for quick decision making and strong leadership),

• construction and real estate development (Eights are particularly good at managing large scale projects),

• nonprofits and human rights organisations (where they stand up for the underdog),

• security and intelligence (where they can take charge, assess threats, and act decisively), and

• sports and athletics (speaking of which; the only knowledge I have of Travis Kelce arises from his relationship with Taylor Swift, but what I have seen screams classic Enneagram Eight. I see a strong, friendly, independent, and powerful presence who’s physically affectionate, protective, and loves openly with his whole heart).

 

Eights naturally assume a protective role when it comes to family and people they love.Eights naturally assume a protective role when it comes 

Eights and expertise 

Eights are confident people. They don’t need qualifications like the Fives to feel they’re entitled to express their opinion or lead a team. In fact, many Eights may feel ambivalent about the idea of formal recognition as an expert and prefer to lead on their own terms. 

Nevertheless, when Eights go to Five - a move they make in stress - they can become very uncertain of themselves. Because Eights like to lead from a position of strength, they can be highly aware of their own limitations, especially in areas where they don’t have expertise. Rather than risk failure or losing face by venturing into unfamiliar territory, some Eights may hold back, choosing instead to focus on areas where they feel certain of their mastery.

Visibility blocks 

The big visibility blocks for Eights are not wanting to have their authority undermined, or be seen as vulnerable. So if you are an Eight or your Enneagram point has a relationship to the Eight (either as a wing or as a point you travel to), two questions to ask yourself are:

1. when it comes to building my business and expanding my reach, what vulnerabilities do I have that I don’t want people to know about?

2. do I feel like an authority in my industry? How is this affecting my willingness to be visible?

Eight women and gendered conditioning 

Something that I’ve noticed over the years is that being an Enneagram Eight presents a specific set of challenges for women in patriarchal societies. Because so many Eight qualities have been assigned the label of ‘masculine’, it can be difficult for a woman to know how to express herself as an Eight and still be accepted by the people around her. (The same happens for Enneagram Two men, where so many Two qualities have been labelled ‘feminine’.)

Here are two ways this plays out.

Their assertiveness isn’t well received: Patriarchal societies associate womanhood with traits such as gentleness and collaboration, rather than assertiveness and dominance. This opens women up to criticism for exhibiting strong, commanding behaviour which is labelled as ‘unnatural’ or ‘unfeminine’.

As a consequence, the social backlash can be intense when women express traits like decisiveness and control. And women who confront issues directly or assertively are often judged as contentious for behaviour that would be deemed as ‘signs of leadership’ in a man.

Expressing emotions: in patriarchal systems, women are allowed to be emotional when the emotions being expressed are compassion, empathy, gentleness, cheerfulness, sadness, and vulnerability. The emotions women generally aren’t allowed to express are anger and frustration. These being emotions that are associated with men (in fact, they’re so synonymous with masculinity that they’re often not viewed as emotions but as masculine traits).

This puts Enneagram Eight women in a difficult bind.

• On the one hand their personality naturally goes toward expressing anger, frustration and assertiveness but her gendered conditioning forces her to suppress these things.

• On the other hand, her gender is often characterised as the one in need of protection, and vulnerability can be both encouraged and rewarded. This sits in stark contrast with her desire to hide her vulnerability.

Little wonder that Eights will often resort to hiding out in their Seven or Nine wings.

To the rest of the enneagram

It’s very possible that there will be times in your life when an Enneagram Eight will be too much for you; too loud, too bossy, too angry. When that happens, remember firstly the great big teddy bear that lives inside every Enneagram Eight.

When you watch a playground filled with kids, Eights are engaged. They’re all in. They’re taking charge. They’re not afraid and they’re ready with big hugs whenever anyone needs one. They’re also regularly misunderstood and carry a good deal of sadness and loneliness because of this.

Try and see the little one inside the confident and powerful facade. What they want most from you is to feel safe enough to show that to you.