Resources for living happy and free

Ordinary, extraordinary lives

During the holiday break I deliberately spent a good bit of the holiday period away from my computer and social media and soaked up the pleasures of the non-digital world. During that time, an old friend of mine died, and it gave me great pause. I spent a lot of time thinking about his life. About what an ordinary, extraordinary life he’d had. He was a beloved husband and father of two small children, he was a nuclear physicist, and he was a guy who loved music, camping, and being with his friends. Although he’d achieved a lot in his life, it was his humility, his thoughtfulness and all his small kindnesses over the years that really stayed with me.

At that time I was also listening to season 3 of the podcast Serial (an excellent, and often distressing, piece of long form journalism about the criminal justice system in … [Read More...]

Visibility lessons from 2018, part 2: Australian Women’s Day

NB: this is part 2 of a 2 part post on visibility lessons of 2018. In part 1 I spoke about the visibility lessons learned as a writer this year.

Pursuing new opportunities

Having set up my year to write, I was approached early in 2018 to be a part of a new initiative – the creation of Australian Women’s Day (a national day to celebrate the women and girls of Australia).

This was something that immediately excited me. It’s 100% aligned with my vision for the world and with our work here at the School of Visibility, so I happily stepped toward the opportunity when it arose. It opened new doors for me, it saw me making connections I wouldn’t otherwise have pursued, I became part of a beautiful circle of women, and it coincided with a dream I’ve had for Australia and for the women of the world, … [Read More...]

Visibility lessons from 2018, part 1: writing

My dream for each year is that it’ll feel like this; lying on a lilo (an inflatable mattress or floatie), with the sun shining and a gentle breeze, floating down the river en route to a patch of luscious grass encircled by a grove of ancient trees. In my mind, there’s a picnic all set up with delicious food, a thermos of green tea or a great bottle of chilled wine, fantastic company, a good book and magazines to flick through, as well as cushions and a light blanket to encourage napping after lunch.

Ideally that’s how I want every year of my life to feel.

2018 did not feel like that. It was more like sailing a small, rickety skiff on a tumultuous sea, where at times I was completely focused on staying in the boat and not capsizing, and at others I was competently sailing through rough waters. … [Read More...]

Becoming visible, the journey of a writer

When I was in my twenties I didn’t write publicly because I was certain I hadn’t adequately processed my life experiences to have anything meaningful and lasting to contribute to public discourse. I’m sure I could have written many well crafted, emotionally heightened or stunted pieces. For I was, for most of that decade, both well crafted and emotionally underdeveloped. In hindsight I’m very pleased that I possessed the requisite self awareness to understand the value of restraint. I continued to learn the craft in myriad forms; through voracious reading, daily writing in my journal, in essays, and as a lawyer and public policy advisor.

When I was in my thirties life was happening in such a big way I had little desire to stop and write about it, except as a form of therapy in the private pages of my journal. My career was accelerating fast, I divorced my … [Read More...]

The courage to upset another

Often women will say to me ‘I don’t want to speak up because I’m worried about someone disagreeing with me, or of causing an argument, or about upsetting people’. I completely understand that. I was reminded recently of just how much courage you need to speak up and share your truth, especially when you know the person listening might not want to hear what you have to say.

As a 1:1 coach for many years, I had to get comfortable with gently holding a mirror to clients so they could see things about themselves they didn’t want to see.

I’m a pretty upfront sort of person. I like to know where I stand with people and I really dislike the feeling that someone is manipulating me to get the outcome they want (especially when they’re manipulating me in the nicest possible way. I REALLY hate that. Give me a straight … [Read More...]