In our society, women have long been bound to silence when it comes to sexual harassment. Here’s what happens; we’re taught to behave, to comply, to not cause trouble. We’re particularly expected to keep the peace with our colleagues and to please people in positions of power.

Amongst the first people she pleases are her parents or caretakers, as well as her teachers, and then her bosses.

In addition, society imposes a structural hierarchy on humanity. Men are given primacy over women. White over colour. Higher socio-economic status over lover socio-economic status. Ably bodied over people with disabilities (which, when you’re reliant on a caretaker for physical support, puts a woman in a particularly vulnerable position).

Of course, there are many other intersections that could be named. Here’s what’s important to know; the greater the number of intersections, the greater the ties that bind. 

Here’s what else the patriarchy teaches women; your value is intimately linked to your appearance. The more attractive you are, the more praise and attention you will receive. You’ll be promoted more regularly, you receive more media coverage, you’ll be paid more. And the definition of ‘attractive’ in the eyes of the system – as perpetuated by the media – is white and ably bodied. It’s feminine. It waivers on the role of breasts and bums but it’s clear about one thing; overweight is not allowed.

In the context of sexual harassment, the most significant message we all learn as women is that men’s needs come first. Here’s what we’re taught; When we’re giving you sexual attention, it’s a compliment. You should receive it as such, even if it’s unwanted. Your needs or desires are not relevant in this equation. Ours – mens – are. You should be flattered that we deem you worthy of our attention.

What then are you to do when this unwanted sexual attention is directed your way? How can you possibly speak up? Every single aspect of your conditioning tells you not to. It says Brush it off. Smile when a guy pays attention to you. He didn’t mean any harm. They won’t take it well if you bring this up. He has all the power, you don’t have a choice. You have to accept this.

You’re also well aware that men can shift from complimentary to violent in the blink of an eye. So you smile and tread gently to stop things from escalating. Better to be harassed than raped or killed, you think.

If #metoo reminded us of anything it’s that we are in the midst of an epidemic. I doubt there’s a woman alive who hasn’t been affected by sexual harassment or assault at one time or another.

This is what it is to be a woman in the world in the 21st century. 

To stop the epidemic, we need to speak up. We need to be confident and comfortable with saying No more. We need to remove the ties that bind. We need to find a way to be vocal in the world without the threat of repercussion. We need to do this for ourselves, for our sisters, and especially for our daughters, nieces, and granddaughters.

That’s what this visibility block clearing class is all about.