Personal development Archives | The School of Visibility

Do you have words that guide the way you communica

Do you have words that guide the way you communicate? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I try to be really consistent in my communication whether I'm chatting online, teaching a workshop, or talking to my children. The three words that guide me are; clear, confident, and compassionate. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
CLEAR means I say what I mean. I don't hold back from articulating an idea and I try to express it with as much clarity as possible. I also don't adorn it with softening words (which, as a female, I've been encouraged to do since birth). There's a post further down this called 'Minimising your words' if you want to find out more about that.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
CONFIDENT means I know my inherent worth and that my voice matters. This is not the same thing as arrogance or false confidence where people overstate their worth to cover a fear of not feeling worthy. It also doesn't mean I'm lacking in humility. (I'm well aware of the vast universes of things I don't know and can't do.) What it means is that I'm not afraid to share of myself. To express ideas. Because I know that my voice is necessary in this world. Just as necessary as every other voice. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
COMPASSIONATE means that even when I'm calling out certain behaviour, I'm simultaneously calling forth a person's humanity. I try not to allow things to devolve into personal attacks, and when I'm speaking about a trend I disagree with, I speak about it within the broader societal context. I also encourage curiosity where I can, because I know that curiosity opens our hearts to wonder and to new ways of understanding the world. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sometimes the situation invites me to lean into clarity more than compassion, or confidence first and foremost. Sometimes it's a mix of all three. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Having a set of words creates a container for my communication. When I'm upset or emotionally distressed, they anchor and guide me. When I'm unsure of whether to speak or stay silent, they guide me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What about you? Which words guide your communication?

You don’t have to wait to be the most well-known

You don’t have to wait to be the most well-known person in your industry to speak up (in fact, it’s the very act of speaking up that makes you well known, so waiting until you’re known before you express an opinion is a guaranteed way to keep you invisible).⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You also don’t need to have all the answers. You simply need to decide that your voice is important enough to help shape the direction in which your industry is moving.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We have lots of tips about this in our latest blog post 'Speaking Up To Your Industry'. You'll find the blog using the link in our bio.

I spent yesterday afternoon checking out ‘Austra

I spent yesterday afternoon checking out ‘Australian Love Stories’ at the @portraitau
It was a balm for the #soul to see so many forms of #love and different types of partnerships being celebrated in one space. Creative, parental, political, sensual, intellectual, romantic and platonic.
It reinforced how fortunate we are as human beings to have the opportunity to experience so many forms of love.
It reminded me how much poorer we all are when we our narratives about a subject are focused through a single lens eg; when love becomes synonymous with the stories we share about romantic love.
We are all starved by singular narratives.
And enriched by the diversity of experience and expression.
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#diversity #diversitymatters #diversityandinclusion

Women speaking up for themselves AND for those aro

Women speaking up for themselves AND for those around them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Feminism hasn't always done this well. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
White feminism has definitely been blind to the rights and needs of all women. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But with intersectional feminism comes the invitation to grow the movement into something that serves all. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#feminism #feministthought #intersectionalfeminism

Creating an environment that’s conducive to conc

Creating an environment that’s conducive to concentration is an easy first step in improving your concentration. This means turning off your notifications, creating white space on your screen for deep work, working in a people-free space where you won’t be interrupted and/or letting people know you’re working on a project for the next x hours and can’t be interrupted.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Often I see women beating themselves up for not getting more done and when I ask about their working conditions, they speak to an environment that's really not conducive to uninterrupted concentration. Sometimes it's because they're caring for little ones or they're in lockdown or because they're building a business from scratch and the kitchen table is serving as dining space, office desk, and children's homework space. (So many of us have been there! You're not alone.) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What I've found for myself over the years is that the more I'm internally committed to doing important work, and finding the time and space to do it, the more decisive my actions become in creating that. Conversely, when I'm feeling anxious about a project or not 100% on board with an idea, I tend to draw distractions to me. This includes the environment I'm working in and the time I've scheduled to attend to tasks. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So, I start with my inner world. I clean that up. Then I look at my external world and see what needs to change. My inner commitment supports me in making those external changes. Then I'm able to sit down to uninterrupted work. Which means no matter how much time I have available, whether 15 minutes or 3 hours, I'm able to make the most of it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Find many more ways to develop the skill of concentration on our blog using the link in our bio.

I know, this doesn't always feel safe to do. Espec

I know, this doesn't always feel safe to do. Especially on social media which can really be the armpit of human conversation at times. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So here's what I recommend. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. When you speak up, know what you want to say and why. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. Speak with as much nuance as you can in the space provided. (There's so much simplified expression online and it leads to a lot of problems because assumptions aren't articulated which leads to a fair amount of misunderstanding. Of course, social media isn't designed for deep thinking and/or discussions so we also have to think about which platforms we're using for which purposes.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Learn how to release the fear of being misunderstood and the fear of confrontation, as well as the fear of being wrong, or getting it wrong. (These all lead to visibility blocks. We can help you to clear them.) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. Understand the influence of patriarchal conditioning that says, 'Women should only take up publicly space when we can gaze upon their sexualised bodies.' (We can also help you clear out internalised patriarchal conditioning.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Here's something to know right now; sharing your opinion is a skill. You'll likely express yourself inelegantly many times before you find your way to expressing an idea coherently and with resonance. So the sooner you start speaking up, the sooner you'll get comfortable with what it is you want to say and how you want to say it. You'll also develop the skill of responding to criticism, finding your way to more creative or clearer communication, and developing the great skill of humility when you see that your opinion needs further development. The ego can take a beating when we speak up. Because of that, it's critical to your personal development journey. One that, with time, you'll be so glad to have taken.

According to Aristotle, ‘A common danger unites

According to Aristotle, ‘A common danger unites even the bitterest enemies’. In 2021 though, it looks like our common enemy is serving a different purpose; to unearth our differences. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

And yet, when I look at the pandemic and climate change, what I see is an opportunity to agree on a collective purpose and commit to it as part of our social contract with one another. ⠀

Let’s imagine that managing the pandemic is roughly equivalent to putting out a series of house fires in your community.

Many people believe that the number one priority must be to save the people in the houses. For these people, the focus is on supporting the efforts of the fire chief. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Another group is watching the fires, concerned about how the chief is managing things. They’re engaging in conversations about fire management practices, which is a good conversation to have, but not actually helpful for the people who need action taken right now. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Then there are people who think that being asked to stay at home while people fight fires is a sign that their freedoms are being taken away. They're not, but when you don’t trust the fire chief, you’ll always assume negative intent. These are some of the most difficult people to get on board with the idea of a collective purpose.

Then we have those that are deliberately spreading misinformation about the fire and fire management to disrupt all efforts to extinguish it. And others who are in denial about the existence of the fire in the first place. Sigh. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

When your community is burning, the people who are being burned to death need you to set aside your concerns about the fire chief and either help their efforts or at least not disrupt them.

Here's a question to ponder; if you're not willing to buy into a collective purpose during a state of emergency, when will you be?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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📷 Chris Karidis, Unsplash

I just noticed @Hannah_gadsby has put on another s

I just noticed @Hannah_gadsby has put on another show in #Canberra on the 29th. Check it out if you live in the Capital. Hannah is a genius storyteller who has absolutely mastered the craft of stand up comedy.

When I first saw her show 'Nanette' my first thought was, 'This is the comedian I've been waiting to watch my whole life'.

If you're in lockdown or haven't been able to get to one of her shows, do yourself a favour and check out 'Nanette' and 'Douglas' on Netflix. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#womenincomedy

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