Recently I wrote about some of my manifestation successes. I manifested a lot of amazing things when I was young and then at some point in my mid 30s things seemed to go awry. They became hit and miss. Sometimes I got exactly what I asked for and other times the results were either so so, or I missed the mark completely.
After much frustration, a few tears and thoughts of giving up, I finally realised what was getting in my way; self judgment and self worth.
Denise Duffield-Thomas puts it like this;
‘The biggest problem I see for women in the manifestation process is that they confuse manifesting with “deservingness”.
We think that we have to be pure in thoughts, really “good” and perfect before we’re allowed to have what we want. For some us us, we think we have to be at the perfect weight, or have a better accent, or we need another certificate.
It’s also confusing because we see all sorts of people in society who seemingly don’t give a crap about the environment or helping people in need, and we start to conflate that with success. Do I have to give up my ethics and values in order to get what I want?
No wonder women struggle with manifesting. It feels too much like “reward for goodness” and we beat ourselves up for not being perfect.
I just remind myself that manifesting means simply “make real”. That’s all we’re doing. Taking things from our dream board and each day stepping a little closer to making it a reality. No perfection required.’
I think this is such a useful reflection and one that’s particularly pertinent to the spiritual and creative communities. Both communities carry a story that to be good, to be worthy, to be ‘truly spiritual’ or a ‘real artist’ we have to eschew materialism; we have to suppress our desires. Both communities have an unhappy relationship with materialism, particularly with money. Both have defined themselves against money. As separate from; as above, beyond or ‘better than’, money and material things.
And so an inner conflict arises in every artist and every soulful person. We want things, but we think it’s wrong to want things. We think it debases us to want things. We think our artistic or spiritual purity is muddied by the wanting.
We keep trying to be perfect creative or spiritual beings because they’re our highest values and also because we assume (consciously or unconsciously) that if we do that, we’ll be rewarded.
This same story plays out in the online business world. It goes like this; ‘Focus on what you love and the money will follow.’
Here’s the little piece of that advice that most people don’t mention; if you’re still carrying around judgments about desire or self worth or deservingness, this will never be true for you. You’ll focus and focus and focus on what you love and you’ll still struggle financially.
When however, you focus on what you love AND you’re comfortable owning your desire for other things as well (whether that’s a great house, luxe travel opportunities, beautiful clothes, influence, money, an amazing partner, beautiful children, or a successful business), then and only then will you start to manifest your dream life.
The universe isn’t handing out good behaviour medals. There’s no reward for perfection. Manifestation doesn’t work like that.
The universe is responding to desire. It’s meeting and matching desire.
In the manifestation challenge this week, many women were afraid to name what they wanted; to name their goal.
As a gender, we don’t think we deserve to ask for what we want. We’re not used to dancing with our desires.
Shakti – the manifesting power of the universe – flows where there’s an openness. An allowing. She dances with all who show up.
Shakti wants to create. And she wants to create through you.
The only question is; are you willing?