Visibility lessons from 2018, part 1: writing

My dream for each year is that it’ll feel like this; lying on a lilo (an inflatable mattress or floatie), with the sun shining and a gentle breeze, floating down the river en route to a patch of luscious grass encircled by a grove of ancient trees. In my mind, there’s a picnic all set up with delicious food, a thermos of green tea or a great bottle of chilled wine, fantastic company, a good book and magazines to flick through, as well as cushions and a light blanket to encourage napping after lunch.

Ideally that’s how I want every year of my life to feel.

2018 did not feel like that. It was more like sailing a small, rickety skiff on a tumultuous sea, where at times I was completely focused on staying in the boat and not capsizing, and at others I was competently sailing through rough waters. … [Read More...]

Becoming visible, the journey of a writer

When I was in my twenties I didn’t write publicly because I was certain I hadn’t adequately processed my life experiences to have anything meaningful and lasting to contribute to public discourse. I’m sure I could have written many well crafted, emotionally heightened or stunted pieces. For I was, for most of that decade, both well crafted and emotionally underdeveloped. In hindsight I’m very pleased that I possessed the requisite self awareness to understand the value of restraint. I continued to learn the craft in myriad forms; through voracious reading, daily writing in my journal, in essays, and as a lawyer and public policy advisor.

When I was in my thirties life was happening in such a big way I had little desire to stop and write about it, except as a form of therapy in the private pages of my journal. My career was accelerating fast, I divorced my … [Read More...]

The courage to upset another

Often women will say to me ‘I don’t want to speak up because I’m worried about someone disagreeing with me, or of causing an argument, or about upsetting people’. I completely understand that. I was reminded recently of just how much courage you need to speak up and share your truth, especially when you know the person listening might not want to hear what you have to say.

As a 1:1 coach for many years, I had to get comfortable with gently holding a mirror to clients so they could see things about themselves they didn’t want to see.

I’m a pretty upfront sort of person. I like to know where I stand with people and I really dislike the feeling that someone is manipulating me to get the outcome they want (especially when they’re manipulating me in the nicest possible way. I REALLY hate that. Give me a straight … [Read More...]

Stepping into fearlessness

It’s been a while since we released a new class. And this one, I’m really excited about, because it goes to the heart of the key to a really significant breakthrough I had on my own visibility journey; clearing the persecution imprint.

The persecution imprint is an energetic pattern passed down generation after generation which serves the purpose of keeping persecuted groups – in this case women – small, quiet and less powerful than they otherwise would be.

In the Western world, the persecution imprint really made its mark on women during the witch hunts. After 400 years of burning us at the stake, the message had well and truly been embedded in our DNA; being seen to be different, to be vocal or controversial, to do or say anything that was inconsistent with the philosophy of Church or State might cause trauma at best, or torture and death … [Read More...]

Have you got another woman’s back today?

One of the most insidious aspects of the patriarchy is the way it divides and conquers. Everywhere I look women are struggling on their own.

Some women are struggling to care for small babies. Burdened by the demands of caring for young children on their own. Hour upon hour of changing nappies, singing nursery rhymes, feeding young ones. Isolation and boredom pervasive, no village to support her.

Some women are speaking up against power – at work, online, in politics – and they’re doing it alone. People aren’t rushing in to support them. They’re standing on the sidelines, glad it’s not them that’s being attacked or criticised.

Some women are saying no to bullies and being ridiculed or diminished because of it.

Some women are finding themselves homeless as they age, society turning its back on its nurturers at the very moment when they most need support.

Some women are … [Read More...]