Resources for living happy and free

Everyone thinks you can’t learn this…

Often you’ll hear people talk about the X factor in show business. The statement, ‘She has the X factor’ will often be followed with, ‘You can’t learn that’.

I disagree.

Actually I agree that you can’t learn it. You can learn to be technically proficient. You can learn techniques to minimise nerves. You can repeat a skill enough times that it feels very natural to you.

But you can’t learn to feel. You can’t learn to shine. You can’t learn authenticity.

That’s not a process of learning. It’s a process of unlearning.

I believe everyone has the X factor. We’re born with it. It’s an innate part of being a human being. What happens though, is that we’re taught not to let our X factor shine through.

We’re taught that by well meaning teachers and parents and friends who don’t let us be ourselves. People who try and fit us … [Read More...]

Every business woman needs to free herself of this

Every business woman (and stay at home mum, and woman who’s retired, and woman on a disability pension, and female student) needs to free herself of her inner good girl.

The inner good girl is the one who cares deeply about being likeable. She’s very focused on pleasing other people and spends a lot of her time internalising her emotions. Emotions which, if expressed, would rock the boat or cause problems for other people.

The good girl is a role we’re all encouraged to play from a very young age. And at that time, it makes sense. Parents need to get children dressed and fed and to bed on time, and teachers need to educate us. And so, as a child, the more you inhabit the good girl role, the more you’re rewarded.

Unfortunately though, what worked for us as girls, does not work for us as women. In fact, … [Read More...]

6 steps you can take to start prioritising promotion in your business

‘I sabotage myself by not being visible online, not promoting myself, not emailing people, not blogging, not doing anything that exposes me to criticism or the possibility of getting it wrong.’

I see some variation of this statement almost every week in spaces filled with female entrepreneurs operating online. The person posting always sounds distressed and like the whole thing is really personal to her. Like she’s the only one who is acting this way.

The thing is, she’s not alone and if you recognise yourself in this behaviour, you’re not alone either. We all have these fears. They arise from conditioning which says, ‘First and foremost, be sure to please other people, don’t offend anyone, don’t rock the boat, don’t be too radical or different.’

After years of being conditioned this way for decades, we then step into the entrepreneurial space and wonder why it all feels so challenging. … [Read More...]

This visibility myth can make or break your business

‘Build it and they will come’ is a mantra that’s played subconsciously through so many people’s mind since the release of ‘Field of Dreams’ almost 30 years ago. (God, that makes me feel old.)

As a student of the law of attraction and a person who spent many years averse to marketing, I’ve always found this idea very appealing. What if I could just focus on creating something and then rely on the quality and value of my work to attract the audience?

Some variation of this thought occupies the mind of many creatives. It’s rampant in the arts where your value is measured by the quality of your work rather than the commercial success of it. In fact, in some artistic communities, commercial success is taken as proof that you’re not a quality artist.

(By the by, what a load of crap that is. When I find myself falling … [Read More...]

I’ll be more visible when…

One of the greatest hurdles to visibility I’ve seen in my own business and in my students is the idea of holding off on visibility. “I’ll be more visible when I lose weight, when I’ve had my hair done, when I get a better office to make videos from, when I have more time, when I have more money.”

We do this in a whole raft of areas in our life right? I’ll make more money when… I’ll write that book when… I’ll live my dream life when…

This week I found another really subtle delay tactic that’s been keeping me from being more visible. I saw it in light of a fairly big blow up on social media around the launch of Danielle LaPorte’s new program. If you don’t know Danielle, she’s a personal development teacher most well known for the creation of the Desire Map. Recently she released … [Read More...]